Growing up my parents, particularly my father, was very strict about being “on time.” If I took too long throwing my feet over the side of my bed in the morning my dad would stand in the door way and clap his hands together loudly twice and say, “Chop! Chop! Let’s go!” And if that didn’t work there were other penalties and fines to pay. By the time I was 8 years old I had been trained to leap out of bed at the first call. Across the river my best friend was always late. “It’s just so hard to get out of bed!” She’d say. “I don’t get it,” I’d say. “You just…get… out of bed.” Now I understand that not everyone is the same or has been conditioned in the same way. I’ve also found that as an adult there times when I can’t respond to anything but my own immediate needs and sometimes that means not being able to get out of bed when the alarm goes off, or staying up too late because I “just can’t stop” watching “Freaks and Geeks” on Netflix.
Aries, this week, you are more likely to be moved by the tide of your emotions than the strength of your will. You might find yourself saying, “Just…get..out of bed,” but your body isn’t about to and your body isn’t wrong. As the sign who rules the head and face it is good to give this part of yourself a rest every now and then and let something softer take hold. It may actually be in bed where your next good idea materializes.
(Priestess of Cups/ An Ode To A Gym Teacher- Meg Christian)
The other evening a friend of mine invited me to go rollerskating. I agreed but then texted, “I can’t stay for a super long time because I have a lot of work to do.” I could feel my friend’s eye roll coming through the phone from across town. “I have a lot of work to do,” was something she’d heard me say several times before. “Well it costs $10 so it’s not really worth it if you don’t stay for at least 2 hours,” she replied. Sensing her frustration I texted, “Okay so like 8-10pm? I can do that.” This my friend didn’t even dignify with a response. If you are someone, like me, who works a lot and maybe slightly compulsively, then it probably doesn’t make sense to take up even more time talking about how much work you have to do. Especially not with the people who are trying to help you let loose and have fun.
Taurus, this week you may be tempted to redraw or fortify lines or boundaries unnecessarily. Allow yourself to wade into more relaxing waters and leave any superfluous rules and rigidities off the dance floor and out of the roller rink.
(IV Emperor/ Go Bang- Dinosaur L /Arthur Russell)
The other day in L.A. it felt like the weather was trying to start a ghost story, “The wind howled and the sky was dark with ominous clouds…” But rather than the lightning, thunder and torrential rain you’d expect to accompany this kind of set up, the sky would just spit tiny inconsequential droplets of water. You could never get to the good part. “Yeah, so, and then what?” I wanted to ask.
Gemini, this week you may feel something forming beneath you, or perhaps above you. Maybe a new thought or idea is gathering, but you aren’t quite ready to share it or put it into words. Keep feeding these thoughts with your own anticipation and excitement. Before too long you will be ready to deliver the whole storm.
(Shaman of Swords L/ The Sphinx- Amanda Lear)
The other day I was FaceTiming with my mom. We were discussing healing, “A wound doesn’t ever really go away,” I said. “It’s like wabi-sabi!” My mom exclaimed. “Do you know about wabi-sabi?” “No,” I replied. “What’s that?” “It’s from Japan. They take a tea cup with a crack in it and fill it with gold because they believe there is strength in imperfections.” The image this description left me with was so clear that when I looked up wabi-sabi on the internet later I expected only to find an image identical to the one in my head: a porcelain tea cup with a gold-filled crack in it. Instead I found the following wikipedia definition: “Wabi-sabi represents a comprehensive Japanese world view or aesthetic centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.”
Cancer, this week you may be clarifying the course you want your life to take from here on out. Perhaps the image you have in your head is as clear and simple as a teacup with a gold-filled crack. Wabi-sabi may be a good philosophy to consider as well. Whatever fears may have created chasms and potholes for you in the past need not bring you shame, but strength. Fill them with gold.
(XVII Star/ Lavender Country- Lavender Country)
Earlier today I found a giant spider on my ceiling. I’ve tried for years to overcome my fear of spiders, but as soon as I think I’ve made a little headway some new information or an old reminder disturbs me. Everything about spiders is like a horror movie played on a micro-scale- their fangs, their eyes, the way spin their food into a cocoon and then suck the life out of it. But mostly I don’t like the way their eyes easily follow you around a room. I contemplated trying to escort the spider in my apartment outside by trapping it in a jar, but I could tell it was the kind that jumps and I lost my nerve. Several hours after I’d forgotten the spider I spotted a giant cockroach in the bathroom. I ushered it out the back door with a broom, simultaneously remembering the spider from earlier in the day. I wondered if it was capable of taking out a roach with it’s web and cocoon method.
Leo, this week you could find it difficult to close the door on others needs, demands or eyes. While you may need your privacy and solitude, there also might be a good reason to keep your door slightly ajar or to not kick all the spiders to the curb. You just might not know the reason until later.
(4 of Discs L/ Someone Like You- Sylvester)
Good memories, memories of the “perfect” day are places I find my mind retreating to when things are more difficult. Most of these good memories also involve the ocean. Some of my best days have been at the beach. The other night I had a dream that I was in a motor boat on the ocean with a few friends. I’m not sure where we were going but the waves were quite big. After we were already some distance from the dock I remembered the weather report, the meteorologist had advised that there would be a big storm in the area. I opened my mouth to suggest we turn around and woke up. In dreams, water and the ocean are said to represent your emotions. It makes sense then that the very same place, the ocean, could be the sight of my fondest memories and my biggest fears.
Virgo, this week you may find yourself feeling worried about the sustainability of happiness, whether or not there will be more magical moments and perfect days ahead. Keep in mind that your anxiety and your happiness are all located in the same place, within you.
(XIX Sun Rev/ Summertime Blues- Joan Jett)
Sometime around the ages of 17 or 18 my childhood shyness subsided. I have a clear memory of impulsively standing up on a bus in Brazil at 18 and giving a short pep talk in Portuguese to my fellow exchange students who were occupying many of the seats. The director of the exchange program had just doused us with a list of rules and I felt called upon to raise the spirit of adventure and moral. I already knew Portuguese from having lived in Brazil with my parents. My parents had moved to Indonesia and I went back to Brazil as an exchange student. Being on my own gave me confidence and blundering through another language made me less afraid of making mistakes in general. I learned how to laugh at myself and at the same time I learned to take my needs and desires more seriously.
Libra, this week you may be feeling more confident. You might find yourself standing somewhat apart in the thoughts, needs or desires you choose to express, but this will not likely deter you. It is perhaps standing alone or in the same position for so long that has given you the confidence to speak your mind.
(Priestess of Swords/ You Don’t Own Me- Leslie Gore)
The other day at the roller rink my friend and I saw a very young mother in roller skates nursing a baby on a bench. Some senior members of her family were there too and took turns watching the baby while she made a few jaw dropping laps in the rink. “She’s incredible,” my friend said. I nodded in awe and agreement. I think we were impressed both by the woman’s skills in the rink but also by her attitude, by the way her life and her enjoyment of skating continued on. Not without help of course, but “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, life goes on” I thought to myself.
Scorpio, this week you may find yourself moving on or recovering from some change or transition more easily than you or anyone would have expected. Perhaps this is partly because you’ve had help, but you may feel that your life is on wheels and rolls easily forward and into the next song.
(10 of Swords Rev/ She’s Got Her Ticket- Tracy Chapman)
It is Pride month. When I was first coming out as queer in my late teens I had the very fortunate experience of living in a house in the midwest with three older queer women for a summer. We would have dinner together every night and sometimes they’d invite a friend to dine with us. Most of their friends seemed to like me and I sensed felt a sort of responsibility to educate me on the history and lineage of which I was now a part. I remember one evening an older, tough-looking, butch woman came to dinner. She told me about when she used to frequent the gay bars in the midwest in the 80s. “It was a war zone,” she said. “They would throw bricks at us and we would stand outside and throw them right back.” In the years following that summer I collected my own stories of bigotry and homophobia, but they never seemed as difficult to deal with knowing the stories of bravery I’d heard at that dinner table.
Sagittarius, this week it may be helpful to understand that no matter who you are, the challenges you are currently navigating are part of a history. You are not starting from zero, you begin on the shoulders of whomever came before you.
(VII Chariot/ Tongues Untied- Marlon Riggs)
The other day I was watching an episode of Medium where Allison’s daughter Bridgitte comes into the kitchen waving her arms. Allison struggles to interpret the gesture until her other two daughters enter the picture and explain that Bridgitte has been “jinxed” and that only saying her name can “unjinx” her. The scene brought back of flood of memories of my own, of how seriously rules were taken as a kid. I remember playing a game my friends and I had invented called, “Lava.” It was a game of tag but it all took place on a playground structure. You weren’t allowed to touch the pea gravel below because it was molten lava. I remember believing so adamantly that the gravel was in fact lava that my toe actually felt hot when it touched the gravel. I also remember some kids who fell into the gravel saying, “Wait, that didn’t count!” And then they’d come up with an elaborate argument for why they weren’t actually “dead” according to the rules of the game.
As a Capricorn you likely take rules very seriously, even if they are just your own made up ones. It is very healthy to periodically liberate yourself from any thoughts, structures or rules in your life which have become to rigid. This week it seems you may have figured out how to “unjinx” yourself or perhaps you have found a loop hole in the rules of the game and discovered you aren’t actually “dead.”
(4 of Wands/ Muda de Vida- António Variações)
The older I get the harder I find endings to be. When I was younger it felt much easier to skip from one stone to the next. I remember standing in my room with my mom when we were leaving Brazil to come back to the the U.S., our apartment was finally empty and my mom put her arm around me and said tearily, “You grew up in this room.” I felt a certain sadness too, but it was all tangled up with the excitement I felt about the fresh start awaiting me back in the U.S. This is something I don’t think actually ever changes. Every ending is braided with a new beginning even when you are at the very top of your life ready to jump into the next. But for some reason the older I get, the more I surprise myself with my attachments to what is familiar and the excitement becomes harder to find.
Aquarius, this week you may encounter an ending. Perhaps you are transitioning from one thing to the next. Even if the change is welcome, you may find yourself feeling rather raw and vulnerable about the transition. You don’t have to bully yourself into seeking out the excitement that is buried beneath the rubble of loss, but know that it is there when you are ready to embrace it.
(Daughter of Cups Rev/ You’ve Got A Home- Fanny)
Pisces, as the sign associated with music, I know you probably know what I mean when I say music can liberate me from the foulest of moods. The other day while roller skating, a song (which will remain unnamed because I’m slightly embarrassed that such a simple song can have such a profound impact), came on and I felt like all negative and self defeating thoughts I’d held prior to that moment were flying off of me, rolling off with the beads of sweat.
Pisces, this week it seems you may find the secret ingredient or song that can liberate you from any self-defeating or negative thoughts which may have previously played on a loop in your head. Change the record and play this new tune at maximum volume.
(5 of Swords Rev/ Rocket Man- Elton John)