TAROTSCOPES for the week of 04/09/15


Even with the drought in California, there is always a mysterious puddle of water at one end of my bath tub.  The other day I finally figured out what the water was pooling in.  There is a slight indentation from 90 years of people taking baths.  I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out, maybe I was in denial.   I found this new information simultaneously creepy and comforting.  Creepy for obvious reasons, but comforting because I now understand that what I am being held by every time I take a bath, is a historic record of people taking care of themselves, relaxing and thriving.
Aries, this week, in the wake of the Eclipse you may find yourself beginning to feel more supported by the universe, perhaps because you are sitting in some sort of groove, or resting your back against a history that continues to offer you support now and into the future.  
(XX Judgement/ A Sailboat in the Moonlight- Billie Holiday)


As I write this I’m fending off some sort of cold that seems to be attempting to set up shop in my head, where I spend a good portion of my time.  This territorial dispute over the occupancy of my head is making me feel irritable and spacey.  The upside is that other distractions are being pushed to the periphery.  I can only hold a dual focus: tackling the cold and trying to write Tarotscopes.  Anything else, or anyone else for that matter, will, I’m sorry to say, be made to wait until the dispute is settled.  I always know when one of my Taurus friends is not feeling themselves because their signature abundant generosity becomes sort of…rusted.  Normally, when I go to a Taurus’ house I can count on there being some sort of feast or lavish spread (the Taurus tarot card is the Empress after all).  But if they aren’t feeling themselves, they will still attempt to feed me, but the spread will be meager and usually in the form of pickled items.  It is a dead give away that something else is going on or depleting their energy.  
Taurus, this week you might consider looking in your refrigerator in order to figure out what other areas of your life, which may or may not be food related, are in need of restocking.  
(6 of Discs L/ What I Need- Crystal Waters)


I have three old photos of my parents from when they lived in Panama in 1975 or 76.  Actually there is only one of my mom and dad together and the other two are just my mom.  The pictures didn’t come out very well so you can’t see the room in which she is sitting or anything other than my mom herself. In one photo she seems to have been caught mid laugh and in the other she is making a sort of dramatic gesture with her hands on her hips and her nose to the ceiling.  I remember my mom telling my brother and me that when she and my dad first got to Panama she thought, “What have we done?”  And she was furious with my dad for pushing them to accept jobs there.  This was a surprise to both my brother and me because we always held that it was my mother who was the more adventurous one.  The pictures seem to have been taken after my mom had settled into life in Panama and after she had settled into the person my brother and I would eventually come to know.  
Gemini, this week you may find that you are sinking more deeply into yourself.  Perhaps the recent Eclipse helped clear some of the obstructions to your creative and spontaneous self expression.  In any event, you may be quite prolific this week and less afraid to show off the person that people know you to be.   
(Son of Wands/ Picture On The Wall- Phyllis Dillon)


I was listening to Billie Holiday the other day in honor of her approaching 100th birthday and found myself thinking about the twenties.  The twenties were when Billie Holiday would have played in clubs and on phonographs and when my house would have been newly built.  Maybe the occupant of my unit was also a writer working under a self-imposed deadline.  I found myself wondering how they would have procrastinated or what distractions were available to them.  Maybe they would read the paper or puff on a cigar.  Even as I write this, a bell has sounded twice on my computer, alerting me to emails I’ve received.  The notifications ask me if I want to read or delete the email, they ask me to take immediate action.  There must have been nothing so immediate in the twenties save a knock on the door.  It must have been easier to keep ones eyes to the horizon, to reach the end of something without initiating ten other things along the way.
Cancer, this week you may find yourself excessively distracted from purpose, from the things you set out to accomplish.  This could manifest as something small or perhaps it is something larger like a goal you’d set that you’ve now abandon.  It might be helpful to imagine that you are doing what you need to do in a different time period, when technology had not yet produced the impediment of so many immediate distractions.
(8 of Discs Rev/ Unfinished Paintings- The Aislers Set)


My aunt and uncle used to have a huge tapestry with knots periodically holding together separate strands of yarn that created a repeating diamond pattern.  It used to frustrate me when I would stare at it because I wanted the strands to hang separately.  To me it looked like a tapestry of hang ups, like these threads were all going somewhere and then they got tied up along the way, and not just once, like a million times over.  I just wanted the strings to get where they were going, the floor.  I think my frustration was also partially because I had very messy hair as a child and I projected my own desires for a smooth mane on to it’s strings.  I’m sure if I saw it now I wouldn’t be quite so frustrated by it because messy hair doesn’t bother me like it used to and I understand that life is way more interesting when it takes detours or when it presents opportunities to collaborate with others.     
Leo, Jupiter goes direct this week in your sign, presenting you with an array of opportunities to make your life’s tapestry more interesting.   
(8 of Wands/ The Boat That I Row- Lulu)


It rained in Los Angeles.  I think it lasted all of about two hours, but the clouds bookended the event holding the mood for much longer.  In Los Angeles, weather isn’t often a consideration unless its unseasonably warm, so when something like rain happens the mood it creates is often excessively romantic or theatrical.  My neighbor and I were, at different times, listening to Nico and Mazzy Star and other rainy day music in our separate apartments, taking inspiration from one another.  There is a feeling of potential with rain, that something is going to come out of it no matter what.  Plants have an opportunity to get green and sprout new growth and so do we, but it starts by being confined by the rain.  I often feel more creative when the weather is dismal.  
Virgo, this week you may be feeling the need to hole up.  This is actually a fine idea.  It doesn’t mean that you will be defined by this decision in the future, only that it may be necessary in this moment in order to generate new growth.  
(4 of Discs/ Taking People- Cat Power)


The rug under my couch is a black and white zig zag pattern.  My apartment is small so there are only so many places I can work.  Frequently, I find myself sitting on my couch staring at the rug, allowing my vision to blur into something I can use for Tarotscopes.  The nature of a zig zag is that it goes up and down, it has peaks and valleys.  On my rug the zig zags end at a rust-colored border.  Red is a not a passive color, it is activating and is frequently associated with fire and in the tarot with the suit of Wands.  The Wand cards frequently point to some form of spontaneous expression.  I’m leading you all down a crazy worm hole with this train of thought I realize, but this is where I go every week when I write Tarotscopes, following the zig zags in my mind until they come out at the rust colored border of spontaneous expression.  
Libra, this week you may find yourself trying to find your next target.  It may be difficult to make out much of the road you are currently traversing.  Trust the peaks and valleys and know that this movement is likely moving you like a muscle closer towards some form of spontaneous expression.
(Son of Discs L/ Get Up, Get Up- Younger Lovers)


My brother is six and half years older than me and over the years I’ve learned a lot from him and from the things he exposed me to at an early age like rated R movies and MTV.  Occasionally, he abused his privilege as my older brother by making up stories he would tell me were true.  He’d often start by saying, “Wait, you don’t know about that yet?”  He told me about ancient familial rites of passage which involved having your toes chopped off with an axe when you turned 13 or that he had been born with a third lung.  I not only believed many of his lies, I perpetuated them by bragging to all my friends about “my brother’s third lung.”  In some cases it took me years to sift through the false information to discover the truth and sometimes I’d decide that I liked the lies better.  
Scorpio, this week you may find yourself overwhelmed by a lot of information.  You may not be sure what to think or believe or how much of what you are hearing is true or authentic.  It may be important to take some time by yourself to organize your thoughts and consider the sources of your information.  From there you can decide how you want to proceed.  It is best not to make long range decisions before you feel certain you have your facts straight.    
(6 of Swords Rev/ Things I Wonder- The Shaggs)


I feel like I’ve pulled the Devil card for you before quite recently Sagittarius.  This would make sense since you are currently the host of Saturn and the Devil is one of the main cards associated with Saturn in the tarot.  Both deal with structure and the main questions raised by both are how do you create a supportive structure in your life and which established structures in your life are stifling rather than supportive?  It may not be obvious and this week perhaps even less so.  Take time to investigate the areas in your life or the parts of yourself that you feel are constricted or aren’t getting enough oxygen.  It may not be convenient to acknowledge many of these structures, but as it is Saturn’s way, your acknowledgement and willingness to see what is being pointed out to you by your current sense of restriction will pay off in time.   
(XV Devil/ Listen To My Heart- Ramones)


The older I get the more I find myself engaging in conversations with younger versions of myself.  Sometimes I imagine I’m at a conference table and all these old selves are present, the shy, the indignant, the self-righteous, the sensitive.  Lately, I’ve become aware of how age can cause your foundations to settle, sometimes in ways which are counter productive or which stifle new growth.  Like many others before, during and after me, my early twenties were devoted to a set of somewhat unexamined principals.  I was kind of wild with them,  “Tell the boss I’m not coming in today and I’m not coming in ever,” or “I had to quit because you keep hiring sexists.”  But recently I’ve been wanting to talk to that old rebel again because somewhere between us is the kind of person I want to be more consistently.  
Capricorn, this week you may be seeing your power to change and grow in ways which include acknowledging old versions of yourself.  Consider the lessons you have learned from your youth as you think about the future you want to step into.       
(XXI World/ Echo Beach- Martha and the Muffins)


They are screening a bunch of Hal Hartley movies at a theater in L.A.  My friend and I went to go see “Trust” the other night, one of his earlier films.  There is one scene in particular that jumped out at me.  The main character, Maria, is talking to a nurse from the abortion clinic at a diner and telling her that she met a new guy.  She complains to the nurse that he’s been acting differently than when they first met.  The nurse tells Maria matter-of-factly that she changed him, that he can’t be the same because he met her.  He changed you right?  She says.  It suddenly dawns on Maria that she has changed since meeting him.  There is a scene in the movie “Bridesmaids” like this as well where two of the bride’s best friends are arguing whether people change or stay the same.  “I think people change all the time,” one of them says.  “Yeah, but they still stay who they are, pretty much,” the other counters.  
Aquarius, this week you may feel that a person or circumstance has effected in you in ways you may not be eager to acknowledge or perhaps are having difficulty seeing.  Allow yourself to be moved by what you are feeling.  You may come to a conclusion that encompasses more than one perspective, that people indeed change all the time, but are still “who they are, pretty much.”  
(6 of Cups Rev/ Tomorrow- Amanda Lear)


I lost my first tooth by accident.  I had just picked out a giant picture book to “read” (I didn’t actually know how yet) and I was joyfully running back from the book shelf when I tripped on my shoelace and my mouth landed on the book’s corner.  My tooth was knocked out at the root and hung by a thread at an awkward angle.  I was not the only child crying at the sight of myself.  “This is why we don’t run, we walk,” the adult who cleaned me up said calmly.
Pisces, this week you may find yourself slowed down, not necessarily by something catastrophic like a bad fall, but perhaps a short cut you were hoping to take has proved to take more time in the long run.  While the adult part of yourself may be tempted to say, “This is why we don’t run,”  the child part of yourself likely knows how to make the best of the situation by putting it under your pillow and understanding that even a setback can potentially bring reward in another form.  
(Son of Swords Rev/ How Soon is Now?- The Smiths)